* To the lady in the supermarket parking lot this afternoon: If you can haul your big ass into and out of the cab of that F-350 truck, you don't need that friggin' handicapped sticker.
* To The Attorney General of The United States: You are a liar, sir. Resign. Have you no shame? Do you not have a shred of decency or integrity?
* To Bob Novak: What ever happened to the days when reporters REPORTED the news, instead of making it (or making it up)?
* To The County Board of Supervisors for Prince William County Virginia: What made you think that the recent ordinances you passed concerning illegal aliens, WOULDN'T be seen as racist? Are you people high? You disgust me.
* To the old church lady: The times are changing. Get used to it. This isn't 1950, and you don't live in pin-prick, Michigan anymore... you old bitch!
* To The Virginia State police: The idea of a highway patrol is to ensure safe roads, and to keep traffic flowing freely. If you aren't part of the solution, you are part of the problem.
* To Deputy Chief Asshole: You had better hope that I ever catch you alone. I will beat you until you need hospitalization, you uncouth, drunken, unprofessional, womanizing piece of shit... and don't think for a second that I couldn't do it.
* To Barry Bonds: You don't impress me.
* To Michael Vick: I hope you do hard time.
* To The employees at the Stone brewery: Stone Imperial Stout is the best thing to ever happen to beer.
* To my kilt maker: Get off of your asses, and get the right leather for my new kilt!
* To my readers that went to BlogHer: I am glad that you all had fun. Now, spill the beans... c'mon, it's me, Gunfighter, you know you can trust ME with your secrets.... don't you?
You may now return to your regularly scheduled blogging.
GF
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Monday, July 30, 2007
Happy Hour?
OK, Northern Virginia/DC area bloggers.... Are we on for Happy Hour Friday night?
There are three people who have expressed interest, but I would like to have a better read on this. If this weekend is no good, should we plan for a few weeks down the line?
From what I can tell of most of you folks, Old Town Alexandria is our likely spot, and I have a couple of tentative places to gather.
What say you?
Email me with your thoughts.
There are three people who have expressed interest, but I would like to have a better read on this. If this weekend is no good, should we plan for a few weeks down the line?
From what I can tell of most of you folks, Old Town Alexandria is our likely spot, and I have a couple of tentative places to gather.
What say you?
Email me with your thoughts.
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Roadside Assistance 2.0
So... there I was, leaving the Chinese restaurant, next to Trader Joe's. I was in civilian clothes, and I wasn't driving a police car (I had taken Mrs GF and Soccergirl to the airport that morning), when I hear this pleasant female voice with a pronounced Scottish burr saying to me,: "Excuse me,..." I turned to see a thirty-ish woman and an older gent, looking at me with worried eyes. "... Do you you have a set of jumper leads (cables) for me wee car?" Their battery was dead.
Turns out, this young woman, who has lived in the U.S. for ten years, had just recently had her second baby, and her father-in-law was visiting to help out.
We had a pleasant conversation about kilts and rugby while we got the car started, and when we were finished, away they went.
I felt good about being able to help them... things like that always reaffirms my belief about what I am here for. My purpose.
I'm a helper.
I really think it is my "calling", for want of a better term. I'm the guy that people always ask for directions; will help you jump start your car; will help you dig a very long and thick root out of your garden; will change your tire, or anything like that.
I have examined that trait in myself for years, and wondered if I am a helper, or a softy that is easily taken advantage of. I am rather certain that it is the former, not the latter.
I could be worse things, I guess.
My name is Gunfighter, How may I help you?
Turns out, this young woman, who has lived in the U.S. for ten years, had just recently had her second baby, and her father-in-law was visiting to help out.
We had a pleasant conversation about kilts and rugby while we got the car started, and when we were finished, away they went.
I felt good about being able to help them... things like that always reaffirms my belief about what I am here for. My purpose.
I'm a helper.
I really think it is my "calling", for want of a better term. I'm the guy that people always ask for directions; will help you jump start your car; will help you dig a very long and thick root out of your garden; will change your tire, or anything like that.
I have examined that trait in myself for years, and wondered if I am a helper, or a softy that is easily taken advantage of. I am rather certain that it is the former, not the latter.
I could be worse things, I guess.
My name is Gunfighter, How may I help you?
They Are Home!
My girls are home, from Milwaukee.
I am glad.
Oh, and guess who got a portable light box?
Thanks to all that gave advice... I was going to make one, and went to Wal-Mart to get the stuff last night, when I happened upon this thing.
I am almost certain that it will be adequate. I'll give it a wee test and if it doesn't do it for me, I'll take it back and make one!
Film at eleven.
I am glad.
Oh, and guess who got a portable light box?Thanks to all that gave advice... I was going to make one, and went to Wal-Mart to get the stuff last night, when I happened upon this thing.
I am almost certain that it will be adequate. I'll give it a wee test and if it doesn't do it for me, I'll take it back and make one!
Film at eleven.
Saturday, July 28, 2007
Dream Bathroom
If I ever have the occasion to design a home for myself, I have several stipulations:
** All of the bathrooms must be constructed of stainless steel.
** The floors and shower stalls will all slope to drains that have garbage disposal type units.
** There will be spigots on the walls that I can attach hoses to.
** Said hoses will greatly aid in cleaning.
** The bathrooms will be large enough so that I don't have to contort all of my 285 pounds to clean the toilet or shower stall.
** There will be at least two of these large bathrooms, so that I don't have to share mine with 697 bottles of hair care products.
** The toilets will be made for people who aren't 4 feet tall.
Can you tell what kind of morning I had?
** All of the bathrooms must be constructed of stainless steel.
** The floors and shower stalls will all slope to drains that have garbage disposal type units.
** There will be spigots on the walls that I can attach hoses to.
** Said hoses will greatly aid in cleaning.
** The bathrooms will be large enough so that I don't have to contort all of my 285 pounds to clean the toilet or shower stall.
** There will be at least two of these large bathrooms, so that I don't have to share mine with 697 bottles of hair care products.
** The toilets will be made for people who aren't 4 feet tall.
Can you tell what kind of morning I had?
Friday, July 27, 2007
Shoot 'Em Up Friday!
Last month, The Gunfighter family received an invitation to dinner from blog-buddy Janet K. I mentioned, here, what a fine time we had. Not only was the company great, and the food fantastic (yes, tacos can be fantastic... you just don't know), but friend Janet and her housemate, Brenda, gave me a gift as soon as we arrived!
Truthfully, I wasn't expecting a gift... Surely, I thought, the gift of food and good company was enough of a token of friendship. After all, I hadn't done anything to be deserving of anything more. None of my immediate thoughts lasted for more than a heartbeat, because the gift turned out to be the first reader-donated item for Shoot 'Em Up Friday!
As you can see here, the gift turned out to be a DVD player. Janet proceeded to read off a short, but heinous, list of crimes perpetrated by the DVD player. Not only was this particular household item guilty of not working, it was also guilty of not spitting out a DVD belonging to Brenda... it was still lodged inside. The Dog! These nice ladies asked me to put this appliance out of their misery, and I am only too happy to comply.
Why? Because I'm a giver!, yeah.
So, in keeping with out tradition of taking advantage of the opportunity of teaching pints while playing, I present to you, our results:
Today, we are going to shoot this DVD player with an assortment of weapons, using various types of ammunition.
The first weapon we used was the FN-P90, which fires the 5.7x28mm bullet.
Here is what kind of hole the 5.7x28mm (hollow point) makes in a DVD casing. The hole shown here won't mean much to you without a comparison, so stay tuned. There is more... oh yes, more indeed!
The next thing we did was to shoot the DVD player (hereafter known as the "evildoer"), with an M-4 rifle, which fires a 5.56 bullet, which is only slightly larger than the first bullet that I mentioned, but has a much greater muzzle velocity, and thereby delivers significantly increased kinetic energy, which some people commonly call "knock-down power"
Anyway, here is 5.56mm bullet hole, next to the previously mentioned 5.7x28mm. Despite the similarity in bullet hole size, the 5.56 did considerably more damage to the unit than the slightly smaller, but much lighter 5.7x28mm bullet did.
Next we used the venerable Sig P-229 semiautomatic pistol, using .357 hollow points. Here you can see a major difference in the size of the bullet hole.
I will pause here for questions.
Yes? "Professor Gunfighter, haven't you already shot-up a DVD player?" As a matter of fact, I have, however, we didn't make a comparison of relative bullet size, which is the point of today's demonstration.
Any other questions? You, young lady... "Professor G, what do the letters BTHP and JHP that are printed under some of the bullet holes mean?" Excellent question! JHP stands for Jacketed Hollow Point. Which means a copper-jacketed bullet with a hollow point. Most bullets made be reputable manufacturers today are covered in a copper sheathing. The purpose of the jacket is to increase bullet strength and to prevent fouling the barrel with lead stripped from the bullet. BTHP means "boat-tailed hollow point", which is a match-grade bullet design that uses the concept of a teardrop like shape to give it a lower drag coefficient and make it produce less turbulence in its wake. Only the base of the bullet has a boat tail-like shape. The idea of the concept means that the bullet will be more accurate.
If there are no other questions, we will continue.
After punching a few holes in our evildoer, I decided that I hadn't spent all of this time setting up this shoot, dragging out the weapons and ammunition just to put three holes in it. That wouldn't be a prudent use of labor, so I decided that I would take advantage of one last teaching opportunity: To show you fine folks what an evildoer looks like after you really shoot the crap out of one of these things!
Simply put, I emptied all of the weapons that I had loaded for our demonstration into the evildoer just to see what would happen.
Behold!
Nice, eh?
But we aren't done
This is what the backside of the unit looked like. Please note that almost all of the bullets went all the way through it.
This is a photo of the electronic whoziewhatsis that came out of the unit.
***Consumer's take note: DVD players don't have a lot inside of them... sort of makes you wonder why they make these things so damned large.***
I'm afraid that our time together is at an end, my friends... but, not to worry, I'm sure that somewhere out there in the blogosphere, someone will have a question that can only be answered by sending me something to shoot up. Until then, keep your powder dry, always count your rounds, wear your body armor, and ALWAYS shoot first, shoot fast, and put your adversary down!
Oh, and Brenda? Look what I got out, just for you, dear!
Truthfully, I wasn't expecting a gift... Surely, I thought, the gift of food and good company was enough of a token of friendship. After all, I hadn't done anything to be deserving of anything more. None of my immediate thoughts lasted for more than a heartbeat, because the gift turned out to be the first reader-donated item for Shoot 'Em Up Friday!
As you can see here, the gift turned out to be a DVD player. Janet proceeded to read off a short, but heinous, list of crimes perpetrated by the DVD player. Not only was this particular household item guilty of not working, it was also guilty of not spitting out a DVD belonging to Brenda... it was still lodged inside. The Dog! These nice ladies asked me to put this appliance out of their misery, and I am only too happy to comply. Why? Because I'm a giver!, yeah.
So, in keeping with out tradition of taking advantage of the opportunity of teaching pints while playing, I present to you, our results:
Today, we are going to shoot this DVD player with an assortment of weapons, using various types of ammunition.
The first weapon we used was the FN-P90, which fires the 5.7x28mm bullet.
Here is what kind of hole the 5.7x28mm (hollow point) makes in a DVD casing. The hole shown here won't mean much to you without a comparison, so stay tuned. There is more... oh yes, more indeed!The next thing we did was to shoot the DVD player (hereafter known as the "evildoer"), with an M-4 rifle, which fires a 5.56 bullet, which is only slightly larger than the first bullet that I mentioned, but has a much greater muzzle velocity, and thereby delivers significantly increased kinetic energy, which some people commonly call "knock-down power"
Anyway, here is 5.56mm bullet hole, next to the previously mentioned 5.7x28mm. Despite the similarity in bullet hole size, the 5.56 did considerably more damage to the unit than the slightly smaller, but much lighter 5.7x28mm bullet did.Next we used the venerable Sig P-229 semiautomatic pistol, using .357 hollow points. Here you can see a major difference in the size of the bullet hole.
I will pause here for questions.
Yes? "Professor Gunfighter, haven't you already shot-up a DVD player?" As a matter of fact, I have, however, we didn't make a comparison of relative bullet size, which is the point of today's demonstration.
Any other questions? You, young lady... "Professor G, what do the letters BTHP and JHP that are printed under some of the bullet holes mean?" Excellent question! JHP stands for Jacketed Hollow Point. Which means a copper-jacketed bullet with a hollow point. Most bullets made be reputable manufacturers today are covered in a copper sheathing. The purpose of the jacket is to increase bullet strength and to prevent fouling the barrel with lead stripped from the bullet. BTHP means "boat-tailed hollow point", which is a match-grade bullet design that uses the concept of a teardrop like shape to give it a lower drag coefficient and make it produce less turbulence in its wake. Only the base of the bullet has a boat tail-like shape. The idea of the concept means that the bullet will be more accurate.
If there are no other questions, we will continue.
After punching a few holes in our evildoer, I decided that I hadn't spent all of this time setting up this shoot, dragging out the weapons and ammunition just to put three holes in it. That wouldn't be a prudent use of labor, so I decided that I would take advantage of one last teaching opportunity: To show you fine folks what an evildoer looks like after you really shoot the crap out of one of these things!
Simply put, I emptied all of the weapons that I had loaded for our demonstration into the evildoer just to see what would happen.
Behold!
Nice, eh?
But we aren't done
This is what the backside of the unit looked like. Please note that almost all of the bullets went all the way through it.This is a photo of the electronic whoziewhatsis that came out of the unit.***Consumer's take note: DVD players don't have a lot inside of them... sort of makes you wonder why they make these things so damned large.***
I'm afraid that our time together is at an end, my friends... but, not to worry, I'm sure that somewhere out there in the blogosphere, someone will have a question that can only be answered by sending me something to shoot up. Until then, keep your powder dry, always count your rounds, wear your body armor, and ALWAYS shoot first, shoot fast, and put your adversary down!
Oh, and Brenda? Look what I got out, just for you, dear!
Thursday, July 26, 2007
A Few Thoughts
* Lots and lots of my readers are off to the BlogHer Conference, starting tomorrow. I am sure they will have a great time.
* Is it just me, or is the overuse of the term "Homeland" starting to irritate others as well? The way the term is used in context puts me in mind of the use of the term "Fatherland"... Nothing good can come of this.
* Americans do horrible things to themselves, just so they can be skinny. NEWSFLASH: Skinny isn't attractive... those models you seek to emulate look like crap.
* Exactly what ARE the cockles of your heart? The term isn't mentioned in any anatomy book that I have ever seen.
* Why do people find Cameron Diaz attractive? I think she rather looks like a frog.
* Shot placement is everything... so instead of buying the latest, greatest new "gee whiz" new gun, buy something that you are sure that you can use correctly and hit your target every time... a more expensive gun won't help with that at all.
* How many of you have gone from using your blog to post the things that are on your mind, to writing for you audience?
* Is it just me, or is the overuse of the term "Homeland" starting to irritate others as well? The way the term is used in context puts me in mind of the use of the term "Fatherland"... Nothing good can come of this.
* Americans do horrible things to themselves, just so they can be skinny. NEWSFLASH: Skinny isn't attractive... those models you seek to emulate look like crap.
* Exactly what ARE the cockles of your heart? The term isn't mentioned in any anatomy book that I have ever seen.
* Why do people find Cameron Diaz attractive? I think she rather looks like a frog.
* Shot placement is everything... so instead of buying the latest, greatest new "gee whiz" new gun, buy something that you are sure that you can use correctly and hit your target every time... a more expensive gun won't help with that at all.
* How many of you have gone from using your blog to post the things that are on your mind, to writing for you audience?
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