1. My uncle once: Got REALLY drunk at a family cookout when I was around 8. My brother and one of my sisters and I still laugh about it over 30 years later. We shouldn’t laugh though… he was being a real ass.
2. Never in my life: Have I played a game of rugby. I discovered the game at age 40, and I am just too bloody old and have too many injuries to start now. A great regret.
3. When I was five: I extorted a new drum out of my mother. I told her that I would willingly start kindergarten if I had a drum. She fell for it.
4. High School was: Exceptionally boring!
5. I will never forget: My first day of Marine Corps recruit training.
6. I once met: Bill Clinton, Colin Powell, George H.W. Bush, King Hussein of Jordan, Nelson Mandela, and Al Gore.
7. There's this girl I know who: Loved me unconditionally.
8. Once, at a bar: I asked a woman, after one dance and five minutes of conversation, if she’d go home with me. She did. (Circa 1987)
9. By noon, I'm usually: almost done with my workday.
10. Last night: After I put my daughter to bed, I watched one of my favorite movies from the '70s: "The Wild Geese" with richard Burton, Roger Moore, Richard Harris, and Hardy Krueger... do any of you remember that one?.
11. If I only had: The ability to fly.
12. Next time I go to church: Will be the day after tomorrow. I’ll be serving as the worship assistant and watching my daughter serve as acolyte for the first time.
13. Terry Schiavo: A sad story made so much sadder by political opportunists that were more concerned with grandstanding than letting this woman die in peace.
14. What worries me most: I won’t live long enough to see Olivia grown and independent. A little girl needs her daddy.
15. When I turn my head left, I see: Pictures of my family.
16. When I turn my head right, I see: More pictures of my family.
17. You know I'm lying when: I work for the government. Would I lie to you?
18. What I miss most about the eighties: My youth.
19. If I was a character in Shakespeare, I'd be: Hamlet… and I would have killed the King without agonizing over it.
20. By this time next year: I will have gone on vacation, coached another two seasons of youth soccer, read a lot more, and done some major renovation in our house.
21. A better name for me would be: Your Majesty.
22. I have a hard time understanding: religious fanatics (which shouldn't be confused with religious people), right wing freaks, and people that get all of their news from FOX.
23. If I ever go back to school, I'll study: History (or German and Japanese)
24. You know I like you if: I am nice to you. People that I don’t like know it right away.
25. If I ever won an award, the first person I'd thank would be: My wife.
26. Darwin, Mozart, Slim Pickens & Geraldine Ferraro: Schroedinger, Tchaikovsky, Robart A. Heinlein & Mark Warner.
27. Take my advice, never: put your finger on the trigger unless you are prepared to fire.
28. My ideal breakfast is: A ham and cheese omelet, with shredded hashbrowns, crispy bacon, orange juice and coffee (I have destroyed SO many hangovers with that remedy).
29. A song I love, but do not own is: My Sharona, by The Knack.
30. If you visit my hometown, I suggest: Getting a Joe’s Special, at Joe’s Pizzeria at the intersection of Springfield ave, and Milburn ave. It is what pizza is supposed to be and rarely is.
31. Tulips, character flaws, microchips & track stars: Red roses, tolerance, sattelite TV & The New Zealand All Blacks.
32. Why won't people: quit buying SUV's when they are clearly never driven off-road? Can anyone say "Miniscule penis"?
33. If you spend the night at my house: You’ll be made to feel welcome. I hope you like Rugby.
34. I'd stop my wedding for: Not a thing.
35. The world could do without: George W. Bush.
36. I'd rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: Have to spend time alone with my mother-in-law. Here is a quote (to my then girlfriend, now wife of 12 years): "Bill is a nice guy... to have as a friend..."
37. My favorite blonde is: I don’t have a favorite blonde, so I’ll just say…. Scarlett Johanson?
38. Paper clips are more useful than: Most people that I know.
39. If I do anything well, it's: Being decisive in a crisis.
40. And by the way: I already know that I am articulate. That you would actually comment on it makes me believe that you are shocked by the revelation.