Thursday, March 8, 2007

Under Armour

Are any of you familiar with this company? They sell all sorts of sporting apparel for men, women, and children. In addition, they sell "Tactical" gear, including underwear, and they are quite popular with military and police personnel. Their claim to fame is making lightweight garments that help wick away sweat in order to keep you cool(er) in the summer, and warmer in the winter.

I'm all about good gear, but to tell you the truth, at this stage in my career, I leave it to the younger folks to do the sweltering and the freezing most of the time... the benefits of seniority, I guess.

Anyway, I still get all sorts of catalogues from companies that want us to buy whatever new "must have" item is out this month.

Well, Under Armour is no different, and I recently got their 2007 catalogue. I flipped through it figuring that is just more of the same stuff that I won't be buying, until I go to the women's apparel and saw this:

The Power Thong:

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This is the text that went with the photo:


"The Under Armour® performance thong, delivered in an athletic cut to prevent riding and chafing. Seamless construction and knit-in labeling ensure an unobtrusive garment that moves with you."

I'm guessing that the term "unobtrusive garment has something to do with visible panty lines.

OK... when the SWAT team is about to move in on a barricaded suspect, who may be armed...

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... does anybody give a crap about a visible panty line?

Tactical uniforms tend to be baggy because you may need to fight or run or do things that tighter clothing might be too restrictive for.

I am trying to think of a delicate way to ask one of the women that I work with if they would wear such a thing on an operation.


super des said...

That is so silly. If you're worried about panty lines, SWAT probably isn't for you. I think you should just ask your colleague. "Does this make sense" is a good way, that way she doesn't think you're hitting on her.

Gunfighter said...


None of my female colleagues would think that.

For the most part, my more tactical female colleagues are gay.

PunditMom said...

:O LOL!! Why do I have a feeling this little fashion accessory may find it's way onto the red carpet? Or, better yet, maybe we should all chip in and send Britney a pair?

Redneck Mommy said...

As a chicky who has been known to be aware of her own pantie lines (but never while on a tactical mission...more like as I'm walking past a full length mirror in the mall) I would avoid the thong based on a hygenical viewpoint.

Who the heck wants dental floss up their pretty pink parts? Especially while performing a highly dangerous and skilled job?

Sheesh, I sit on my ass all day and write and I still don't want that crap up my ass. (Pun intended!)

Ryan said...

As a pen fighter (lawyer) that linked to your page from wanderinggirls, I have to advise you that you will spend the next month in sensativity training no matter how you pose that question. Thanks for teaching the men in blue, black and all colors in between

Gunfighter said...

Welcome RNM and Ryan!

As for your comments, RNM... I agree.

and you are welcome Ryan.

Gunfighter said...


Tasha said...

Ohmydamn! I love under armour, but sometimes it's not worth it to keep everything warm. Uggghhh!

Joelle said...

I've enjoyed perusing your blog GF! And I have to say, thanks for the, to get it out of my head. ;)

Lawyer Mama said...

Well, I don't know about SWAT women, but in my experience most women are concerned about VPL (visible panty lines). Yeah, see, it even has its own acronym!

Women can be kick ass & stylish too! (Well, if all that gear can ever be stylish.) Now, if Manolo Blahnik comes out with a combat boot, then I'll be concerned.

Leslie said...

I'm with Redneck Mommy - I avoid thongs. My butt looks big enough in regular panties.

Gunfighter said...

Welcome all!

Hiya Joelle... I dig the profile. We also love Diana Krall and several of the other things that you mentioned.

What part of Md are you in?


WordsRock said...

Is there a corresponding men's power thong?

Gunfighter said...

Er... I 'm pretty sure that there isn't, Words.

Joelle said...

I'm in the Crofton/Odenton area. So far, we're enjoying the area, having been transfered from California.

Gunfighter said...

I know the area, Joelle... are you at Meade?

Taco John said...

While unobtrusive does mean that something is not seen, it also means that's not noticed. I think that's what they were going for. That you won't feel the Power Thong. Poor copy for the catalog though, probably should have gone with something else, like maybe "unnoticeable."