Wednesday, June 27, 2007


They are evil, and they must be destroyed.


No, I'm not talking about those interesting (and dangerous animals that the sadly departed Steve Irwin fancied so much. Not at all. I am talking about those ghastly plastic shoes.

You know the ones I mean..., these little monsters!

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You've seen these shoes, haven't you? I seriously doubt if anyone has failed to notice that these horrid plastic things, like cockroaches and politicians in Washington, are everywhere.

No, I mean it... look around, especially in the summer, Crocs are eating away at the fringes of our national obsession with flip-flops.

Kids wear them...

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Moms in suburbia wear them...

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Some guys even wear them...

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... and although I suspect that the guys in this crew don't get a lot of dates, it just goes to show you that there are some people who really love these shoes.

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Mrs G? If you had shown up at our wedding wearing those.... well, it would have been bad.... but I digress.

Crocs really are everywhere these days. As a matter of fact, pictures of these awful shoes appeared in the Washington Post newspaper twice this week.

The American Librarians Association met in Washington over the weekend, and while that may not mean much to many of you, it was certainly a great thing for me, because it brought my dear friend Janet back to town for a few days (and being busy kept us from getting together until we had coffee Monday morning, a few hours before her flight back to Michigan!). The convention has another unintended consequence, it brought THIS picture to my front doorstep, on Saturday morning!

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This lady, a librarian, was doing the red-carpet stroll for the opening of a film that she was able to produce. A film about librarians!

Now, you all know that Gunfighter loves books. I love chicks who read (I married one). I love the fact that my daughters are readers. I love librarians... especially Mrs Jefferson, the children's librarian at the library on the street that I lived on when I was a kid.... but this goes too far! Crocs with an evening gown?

Now look, I'm all about comfort, but isn't this a little much?

And it gets worse, my friends... much, much, much worse.

This photograph was also in the Post in the last few days.

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The President of The United States... such as he is... wears Crocs. He wears crocs with black socks, no less.

I weep for the future.

Crocs come in all sorts of shapes and colors...

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Some people have gone as far as getting creative and personalizing their crocs...

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There has even been attempts to make crocs more manly (as if) by doing a knock-off of the LL Bean Maine Duck Hunting Boot... seen here:

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and here:

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Is there no end to his insanity? In the truest American tradition of imitation, especially where it will make some extra bucks, there are Crocs knock-off every where these days... even Skechers is getting into the act with these:

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Don't get sucked in, my friends! Rid yourselves of evil crocs.

If you have some already, send them to me, and I'll take a shotgun too them. It's for your own good!

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"Real" Crocodiles are much more fun!

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Hahn at Home said...

They look strangely like the Earth Shoes I wore in the didn't work then, and it sure as hell doesn't work now...what's next, the return of the leisure suit?

KarenO said...

If they sold so many (fakes included!) around the world, it worked for some people. They have the money people paid for these silly shoes. I don't and I won't buy them for myself! :)

You're one funny man GF, I really enjoyed this post!

Gwen said...

I am so with you on this one, GF. And seeing Bush in them has pretty much cemented the hatred I feel for these hideous, horrible things.

Mamma said...

Great post! But I love my crocs. I love seeing my little guys in theirs.

Here's the thing. I bought them as gardening clogs--but they're so damned comfortable. I mean really comfortable.

And with the boys, no biggie if they get wet and I'm not constantly having to retie laces.

Now your point about the prez wearing them, however, may make me have to reconsider all I've just said.

Gunfighter said...


I had Earth shoes in the 70's... I also had those shoes that we called "Easy walkers" Dorky... too dorky to even discuss.


If I made you laugh, I was successful!


Amen, my ffriend. Can I get a witness!?!


Well, I don't love you any less, but... we need to talk.

When we go to DisneyWorld on vacation, we see sooo many people wearing them. They may be comfortable, but Crocs, like Birkenstocks, will never be seen on my feet.

CableGirl said...

I'm actually astounded how many blogs I have read int the past week or so bashing crocs. No, I don't wear them. Yes, I think they are awful... but seriously, when did foot fashion become such a big issue that everyone and his/her uncle blogs about them?

Leslie said...

I have yet to succumb to the call of the Crocs. I'll be honest, though - I've been tempted. I've never been good at dealing with peer pressure.

Lawyer Mama said...

I truly hate crocs. I'm a shoe whore. Seriously, I own a closet full of adorable, "make my legs look great" shoes. But Crocs - they're so incredibly ugly I can't even look at them without cringing. They make everyone's feet look horrible.

If I want comfy shoes, I'll put on my cute tennis shoes!

PT-LawMom said...

You are so right! They are the most ugly, uncomfortable-looking things ever. UGH!!! I've noticed them more and more, too, but didn't know Bush had jumped on the bandwagon.

Desert Songbird said...

This is the second Croc bashing post I've come across on my blogs this week, and I'll say here what I said there: I love shoes, and I own comfortable ones, but I will NEVER own comfortable UGLY ones. And Crocs are just plain ol' FUGLY!

Mrs. GF said...

Well, since I only had shoes on long enough to say our vows (an advantage of a living room wedding), you might not have noticed--especially given your dad's leisure suit!!!!!

jessabean said...

I'm howling right now. LOVE that last picture, lol.

That picture of Bush is...hilarious? Or nauseating? Maybe both.

Either way I agree with you--DOWN WITH CROCS!

Gunfighter said...

The leisure suit... the leisure suit! O the humanity!

Sweetie, I think you should be a guest blogger and talk about how horrible it was.

You game?

Ambassador said...

Ah, the ubiquitous, nauseating Crocs. Here in New Orleans, you can get them in custom Saints (Black/Gold) or LSU (Purple/Gold) colors. Yeesh.

To humor a friend/fanatic, I tried a pair on...plastic on my feet, in the southern summer? I'll pass. Add to that my first thought that these are just 21st century Jellies--not on these feet!

Fun post, GF! Ken

Madame M. said...

I would have agreed 100% with you not even six months ago... but then I bought myself a pair of lavender mary-jane crocs, and they are tooooooooooooo comfortable.

Evil, yes. But oh! Comfy!

Comfy always wins.

Paige said...

My mother keeps offering to buy me some and I keep telling her "Um, no, please don't. I haven't given up yet."

I never understood the trend, Gunfighter. Never.

La Sirena said...

I'm pretty much in total agreement with you GF. I don't like plastic smothering my feet. Yuck! My mom wears them when she goes in her pond. That seems logical to me. I should have known W would be the type to wear them -- with shorts and black socks!

Do you think that crocs would be challenging to shoot, what with all of the pre-existing holes? Of course, you're a pro, so perhaps not so challenging for you...

Jenn in Holland said...

Hahaha! You are really into the hotbed posts this week, eh?
Crocs have made the mark here in Europe too. Just yesterday I passed an entire Crocs Store, which I hadn't seen before on my shopping street. Up until that I had only seen small displays inside shoe stores, but I guess Crocs are now in Holland with a vengeance.
We could shut it down quick though by getting the word out that 'ol George sports 'em. That's enough to keep me FAR AWAY from a pair. It would repulse the europeans too. It's a two birds with one stone kind of marketing campaign. Surely wearing crocs is an impeachable offense?

super des said...

I just don't get it.

Janet said...

Am I the only one tempted to buy a pair just so I can have you shoot them? Oh, and I hate those duck hunter shoes. We always called them rubber uglies. They were all the rage at my high school, in the heart of preppy country during the height of preppy mania in the Eightes. I still cringe at the thought of them and those wooden-handled, corduroy purses with the monograms. Gods! I'm having flashbacks now. I have to stop

Brillig said...

This is one of those things that will mark our decade as utterly ridiculous. Stay away, people!

ON YOUR WEDDING, LADY????? No. No, please no. I weep for you.

cathouse teri said...

Crocs with black socks?
There's gotta be a poem in there!
Or at least a haiku!

Dinner time and I'm fainting from hunger. (sure you are, Teri)

Brain cells weak... must... eat... soon...

Yeah, I agree. Crocs suck! But that was a lot of pictures of the ill creatures. Made me wanna poke my eyes out with a tampon! (thanks for the idea ba doozie)

cathouse teri said...

Also, I dare ANYONE to come forward who has gotten laid while wearing these ghastly things!

Yeah, I wear stripper shoes! What of it!

Gunfighter said...


Teri, you neveer fail to say just the right thing.

cathouse teri said...

Well... it's always either just right or just wrong. Never in between! ;)

Queen Heather said...

Will stone cold eat a bitch.


I speak in a whisper for my husband makes money off of crocs..I won't own a pair either!

Tasha said...

Absolutely hilarious! The only people that should be wearing them are medical professionals who wear scrubs.

Terri@SteelMagnolia said...


Fourier Analyst said...

Dear Gunfighter, My friend Jenn-in-Holland may not be aware of this, but I suspect the origin of crocs is unfortunately the home of the country we are currently residing in. You see the Dutch for many years had the wooden clogs for which they have become famous. But about 10 years ago there was a rebellion of sorts by the Dutch youth (who are always rebelling about something) who refused to adopt the native footwear as they were 1) heavy, 2) hot, and 3) not really fashionable (not that a Dutch person would really know what fashion is, but I digress...). Anyway, some bright marketeer came up with rubber clogs which solved the problems of 1 and 2 for the most part. The next evolution brought about a selection of colors other than grey or green. Then someone got the bright idea to make them half-clogs, with a strap on the back. As these were in direct competition with the "jellies", the rubbery sandals that kids were wearing to their swimming tests, someone got the bright idea of putting holes in the new rubber clogs, thus allowing them to be worn during swimming tests and not filling with water. I suspect that person was run out of the country and ended up in the US, which is where the plague really spread. I'll have to send you some of the original Dutch incarnations to shoot!

Golden Silence said...

Crocs are gardening shoes and are meant to stay on the garden plot! Those things are ugly as hell!

BTW: You've been tagged.

Melanie said...

Janet- No you are not the only one tempted to buy a pair just to see them blown to bits!!

I HATE these things. Me or my kids will NEVER own a pair!

Martin said...

Interesting article

My kid really loves these shoes, I thought of going for it, But I was unable to find it on line. So I ordered
"Nike Little Flight Ball (TD)"
from for him and even he liked it. Now I got it, next purchase for him will be these.

Angela Hoffmann said...

oh you just broke my heart...i am sitting here in my hot pink mary jane crocs as I obvoiously don't have back or feet problems...ROFL!! okay i do agree they are HIDEOUS!..therefore the maryjane style...they are cute to some degree,mine was a utilitarian feet have been killing me...after cleaning for 5 days straight for feet just plain hurt...the crocs literally have saved my life..i can stand in my studio all day and still have almost pain freee feet at the end of the day....

they unfortunately don't make "cute" crocs for maybe one day you should try a pair just to see how very very very comfortable they are...i go for comfrt somedays over looks..i just don't look down too much to see how fubly they really

i spent a whole day in Ann Arbor MI walking every pedometer said 18,000 steps...and my feet were pain free....
now on days for an evening gfow or something....gees now that is going to far....

Anonymous said...

I like these shoes...I wear them when I have some things to do at home:)