Friday, July 13, 2007

Shoot 'em Up Friday, The Return!

It's been a long time, hasn't it?

Well, your patience is greatly appreciated and your wait is at an end. Read on, O devoted reader!

What you see here is a standard Ice Cream maker, neatly boxed in it's original packaging. I received this particular appliance from my dear friend Janet O, who had no further use for it!

Janet, knowing my penchant for shooting things to pieces (all in the name of professional education, don't you know) decided that she wanted me to have it, and while she was here in the DC area, recently, she was good enough to bring it with her!

Janet, thank you so much for the donation! This selfless act of generosity will save the lives of countless Americans in the war on terror... or something.

So, here we go:

Today I'll be using my favorite weapon, the Remington Model 870, 12 gauge shotgun.

As you will see below, using a shotgun can be very efficient when you want to punch serious holes in someone. Just as a reminder, the 12 gauge buckshot round has nine, .32 caliber, copper jacketed, lead pellets inside of each round... at 25 yards, buckshot can be effective against a man sized target, but is at it's devastating best when used close up. Imagine shooting someone nine times... at once! Today, we will be shooting at a distance of seven yards.

This is our ice cream maker, fully assembled. Nice, yes? Well, it won't be for very much longer.

I wonder what sorts of ice cream I could have come up with? Probably nothing particularly good, as I have never really been into making desserts (well, with the exception of Applesauce, but you already know that).


This is our ice cream maker after one shot.

As you can see, the major parts are still relatively whole. The fluid that you see on the floor is the refrigerant, which was contained in the upper bowl. It began to ooze immediately... it got much, much worse!

This is our ice cream maker after four rounds. The motor is completely wrecked, as is it's casing. The coolant (as well as lots and lots of other small pieces), is/are all over the place! (and was a REAL joy to clean up.... oh, the things I do for my students!)

Yes, my friends, this ice cream maker is well and truly destroyed for all time, but I suspect you don't need me to tell you that.

Are there any questions? Yes, you in the back!, "Professor Gunfighter?, what did we learn today, that will make us better at our jobs?"

I'm glad you asked! Today's demonstration is another example of the effectiveness of a particular sort of ammunition. The term "buckshot", as you will recall, is probably the most appropriately named item in the entire lexicon of firearms! Buckshot was designed, quite simply, to kill a male deer, or "buck". It was evident from the outset that if nine (or more) pellets would bring down a large game animal, it would certainly bring down a full-sized man.

Consider, if you will, the ice cream maker, it is was made out of aluminum, steel, plastic, and other ceramic and metal parts.... do you think that any part of your body would be harder to penetrate (with the POSSIBLE exception of some parts of your skull) than these things?

There is no substitute for the shotgun in the tactical employment of firearms. While rifles are fine and very effective, nothing beats a blast of buckshot at close range. The physical and psychological trauma of being wounded massively by a shotgun round makes the tactical shotgun a one-shot fight-stopper*

Buckshot... There. Is. No. Substitute!

* Please note that there is NEVER any guarantee that a motivated or intoxicated suspect will stop after being shot one, but a 12 gauge shotgun blast to the chest is more likely to have that effect than any other weapon in most police arsenals.



Hahn at Home said...

Excellent bit of fun to start my Friday. I have learned this lesson well, oh great Gunfighter!

Jenn in Holland said...

I wish I had known you before we moved to The Netherlands. We got rid of so much stuff (Janet's ice cream maker made me think of it) I could just have shipped it all to you to be blasted away!

Love the question answer session. Thanks for sharing the knowledge. I will never like guns though.

Terri@SteelMagnolia said...


Hey, did you ever finish up that rosary?

jessabean said...

You are so badass. That is all.

Chris H said...

Ummm, thanks for visiting my blog... your post was strangly disturbing... ya like guns then? I hope you have a wonderful weekend and don't 'kill' any more helpless kitchen appliances. Oh yeah, my husband can't wait for the rugby either, he's counting down... 55 days apparently.... I kinda follow them, but not avidly.

Leslie said...

I LOVE me some Shoot 'em up Friday! Woohoo!

bellevelma said...

Um, hello???!!!! Do you realize it's SUMMER? It's HOT out. We could have used some ice cream, but now you've gone and screwed THAT all up. Now I have to sit around and listen for the ice cream truck. I wonder if he'll be playing the theme from SWAT... I'll be back to read more later!

soccer mom in denial said...

You know I really was wondering where this one was going so the Q&A really helped.

Buckshot. Never knew what that was.

Janet M Kincaid said...

Good Lord! I'd hate to be that ice cream or any idiot foolish enough to go up against anyone on the other end of a shotgun! Lord have mercy!

Gunfighter said...

Welcome, Chris and Belle! Make yourselves at home.

Alex Elliot said...

I can definitely say that I learned something new today!

MedStudentWife said...

This is the first "Shoot'em Up Friday" that I've read. I just love it :) !!!!

BETTY said...

my goodness just reading this released some of my aggression you must have none! great post!

Janet said...

YAY!! Thank you so much for killing that worthless ice cream maker!

I feel I must explain to Bellevelma, and any others who might be wondering, that it was not a working ice cream maker. Simply put the refrigerant didn't refrigerate. As it was the replacement they sent me when the first one similarly didn't refrigerate, I gave up, bought a better brand and asked Bill to shoot it. My ability to make ice cream is no longer hampered by crap machinery and we all got to see some wonderful appliance carnage. I call that a win-win.

Gunfighter said...

Betty has returned... and returned as a married woman!

Welcome back and congratulations, Betty!!!


Thanks again, my dear! That was fun... but messy.

KarenO said...

Hey Professor GF: no using saying now that I could've made tons of wonderful icecream for all my nephews with that machine huh? I've got quite a few broken 15" oc screens for you over here. If shipping overseas wasn't so expensive I'd send them ALL to you! :)

KarenO said...

Hmmm make that PC screens/monitors... typo! :)

Ba Doozie said...

i'm on my way out right now to purchase a 20 guage, as 12 is too long for me

Whiskeymarie said...

Oh, good times, good memories.
I grew up around people who thought it perfectly normal to have a "shooting car" in the field.
I love this.
Trashily yours,

Rebecca said...

but WHY did you shoot it?? Do you not like icecream?? Or do you just prefer to buy yours from a shop??

Or did you just forget to take your meds???

Gunfighter said...


When I started this blog, I told my readership,(such as it was) that I would talk about my occupation from time to time.

Many, if not most, of my readers know litle or nothing about firearms, so I thought that I would start detailing the destructive ability of tactical firearms used in law enforvement... the demonstrations became popular (and fun), and here we are.

Use the search function for my blog, using the terms "shoot 'em up friday", "all in the name of education", and "what I do" and you may get a better understanding.

Ba Doozie,

The gauge of the shotgun won't effect the individual weapon's overall length. Shop around... if you need advice, email me and I would be glad to help.


Jenn said...

Wow. That ice cream maker really got it. I might want to do that with my Best Buy Philips TV after it dies (for the 2nd time).

Paige said...

Hooooooolllly crap, Gunfighter!

How are you going to make gelato now?

Lady M said...

I cannot wait to see the Shoot-em Up Crocs day!